Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Give A Way...Facebook pals!

If you haven't seen it yet, Mama Foster is now on Facebook :)  If you would like to enter my first Facebook giveaway search "Mamafoster", like the page, and then go back and comment on the Facebook post.

Good luck!!!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Legally Ours.

Leave it to my agency to get paperwork telling them that the court has signed the "Placement" papers naming us as the legal guardians of our kids WHO ARE NOW NO LONGER FOSTER CHILDREN and they (the agency) just doesn't bother to tell us.

They thought we would get a separate copy in the mail I guess.


Can't wait to finalize!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Big surprise!

I thought it would take longer...


In the mail today...

I got a letter....

Telling me our finalization date is....

May 10th, 2013!!!

I am so excited!!!

Friday, March 15, 2013


I thought I would give you an update on this post:

So, supposedly today was his birthday, Lizzy's bio dad's birthday if you are just catching up.

Lizzy was drawing pictures today, she makes great potato people by the way, so I took one (that she specifically said she drew for me) and wrote "Happy Birthday Papa!" on it (which is what she called him) and had her hold it up and I took a pic of it and texted it to him.

She had no idea what it said.

He replied "Awwww, thanks Lizzy, I love you"

And later a "Thanks" to me as well.

So there you have it.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

I made him mad.

Today Lizzy's bio Dad texted me asking if she could talk to him.  I decided to be honest and tell him that we had decided that that was not a good idea for her.

Enjoy the drama:

Him:  Hi .how is "lizzy"

Me:  She's fine.  Playing out in the snow with one of her sisters.

Him:  Oh u said u had more pics.     Think she can call

*insert pic I ran out in the snow to snap of her to send him so he can see her playing in the snow that I sent before I got his text asking about pics*

Him:  lol

Him:  Awwww I miss her

Me:  (in response to "can she call") No, she never asks to and I think it bums her out and I am done making her sad for other people's sake.  When she is older if she wants to I will let her call but rite now it feels like I am pushing it on her and I'm not doing that anymore.

*insert long pause here*

Me:  I will text u pics and stuff.  Like u mentioned while she was in foster care 'she is going to need therapy after all this'. Yes, she was traumatized by all of it and I am left to pick up the peices with her.  It isn't easy.  Basically she is happy go lucky until she talks to u or goes to the agency but for weeks after she talks to u she looses it and is in trouble all the time bcuz she doesn't know what to do with all those feelings.  I have to do what is best for her even tho it leaves u getting the short end of the stick as u have during this whole mess.  For that I am sorry.  I know it isn't fair.

Him:  no it's not.   The state stole my daughter.    I will be try to get something done now the law has changed...this is realy a bunch of bs...they couldn't prove me to be a bad father so they band me from her and everyone just let it happen.

* The law he is talking about is the law that, in our state, if you are married, but get get pregnant by someone who you are not married to, your legal husband becomes the legal father of that child and leaves the bio dad with no rights to the child.  Recently they did just change that law, but I don't know to what extent.  In Lizzy's case, the judge told bio dad that he had no more legal standing in the case than a stranger in the street because of that law.  Bio dad never tried to get a lawyer or anything to fight it and lest you think he was just a good guy who got screwed over, you should have seen how fast he was running from this case when they started talking about drug testing him.*

Him:  and i not blaming u or your husband ...but u it was handled      have not seen her in over three years not by my choice

*it has been 1 year and about 3 months, but whose counting (the kid is only 4 years old)*

Me:   Trust me, no one knows better that me how much her mom messed up you and "Lizzy's" life.  I am doing the best I can and I know it isn't perfect.

Him:  I told you that it would end up like this...but im going to do some checking to see what can be done...cuz i miss my daughter an she acts out bcuz maybe she misses me     normal reaction i would think

Me:  yes, i do think it is normal after everything she has been thru.  i know it is hard to hear, but i am sure ripping her away from us would do an equal amount of damage at this point.  she loves us like she loved you.

Him:  Its not right that a child gets ripped from the one person that she could count on an never see them again either...i may not be rich or have money but i got a lot of love for my kids...and i do what i can to make things from them     Lizzy was very happy with me...and it was sad to watch this happen.   u know she couldn't wait to see me

Me:  I don't disagree with anything you said

Him:  So what would you do

Me:  I would stay in contact with me so she can get in contact with you when she wants to.  i will send pics more often.  i know its not what you wanted, but had we not adopted her she would have been adopted by strangers and you never would have seen her again.  we are trying to give you updates while letting her be a happy care free kid.

Him:   like she was before all this

Me:  exactly.  all i can do is try to give her that.

Him:  well i feel like im being punished for her mom's mistakes...let alone what about her brother...he misses her and asks me about her all the time

Me:  I understand

Him:  An ho figure tomorrow is my b day.  i just miss her so much

Me:  Now I understand more.  I don't know what to say.  I just wanted to be honest.

Him:  Well i know...we think of her all the time an it bring a tear to the eye ...and a ugly feeling in my gut

Him:  Her brother try to make me feel better...hes does his best

Me:  It would for me too.  Plz know I fully plan on her having a relationship with u when she is older.  It isnt easy to wait but she will when she is ready.  Her brother is a wonderful kid.

*This man has never actually been proved to be Lizzy's bio dad.  I believe she is because she looks like him.  When he talked about "looking into things" to try to get her back the mama bear in me came out and it was all I could do to not rip him a new one.  As you can see towards the end, his birthday is tomorrow and he was just missing the baby that he once knew.  There is nothing easy about foster care.*

Sunday, March 10, 2013


Lizzy's bio dad decided to blow up my phone after asking me to have her call him and me ignoring him.

She is a mess after anything reminds her of her foster care days, including him.

I am getting to the point where I will probably tell him that she is ready to move on.  She doesn't ask for him or ask to call him.  I give her opportunities to talk about him and she has no interest.

I want her to be happy.  She is sure that I am her mom, my husband is her dad, we are her family...because we are.

I just was surprised that he decided to call me three times in a row to try to "make" me let him talk to her.

It just makes me want to push him away.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013


Foster care, Adoption, Life in General is all about timing.

The sib group of 3 (turned 4) had a hearing review Monday.  I heard through the grape vine that our adoption worker got ripped a new one because things weren't as far along as they should be.  (The foster care worker we had when we first got the kids had not filed paper work that NEEDED to be done in order for our adoption worker to file the paper work she needed to, this basically added an additional two months onto our adoption).

So, that was Monday.  Tuesday basically everything came in that she needed for the day before in order for the judge to NOT be annoyed with her.

Gotta love being off by just one day.

The good news is that on Tuesday our adoption took a good two steps towards being done!

It looks like we will be doing the new baby's adoption separately from the other 3, but we may get them all done around the same time.  Hopefully!!!

Now here is the real question.

We are FULL.  Like, basically, OVER full.

Our license will expire in October/November.  Do we keep it open even though we can't take any more?

My gut says yes, but I really do wonder if there is any point.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Master Manipulator.

My newest 4 year old is a MASTER manipulator.

For example:

Today my three girls were taking turns playing with 2 doll highchairs.  When I said "In a couple minutes it will be time to trade" she handed one of the girls her highchair in hopes that when I said "It's time to trade" she would then get the highchair back again for another long turn.

Another example:

If she has something and I tell one of the other girls "I will go look for another one for you" she will all but throw the one she has at them so she can get the one I am going to go find because she knows she will want that one.

And lastly:

She watches every move me and my husband make.  As soon as we turn our backs she will do something she knows she would get in trouble for if we were watching.

That being said...

A week or two ago, when she was in trouble, I asked her if she was upset about her bio parents.  She said yes.  I felt bad so I let her off.

Now every time she is in trouble she says the same thing, "I want to go play at *insert bio family's names here* house".  She seriously does not remember her bio mom.  The only reason she knows her name is because I told her what her name was.  She does remember her bio dad, but I don't know to what extent.  She never talked about them at her old foster home.  I do think she likes talking about them so I will continue to let her, but I think she is playing me when it comes to her being in trouble and bringing it up.